Friday, July 6, 2012

Journal Entry From One Year Ago.

One year ago I was sitting on a long, ten hour flight from Salt Lake City to Tokyo, Japan. I was on my way to the Philippines for a week of the most intense evangelism I have ever done in my life. Flying over Pacific Ocean, I took my journal out from the seat pocket in front of me and penned:

July 2011

"...for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. ...Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" Matthew 6:32+33, 7:7-11

These verses seem to be a recurring theme in my life the last couple of months. How easy it can be for me to doubt the Father's goodness + heart of compassion towards me. Does He really give that which is good? Or at the point of total + absolute surrender will He then give me something that makes me UNHAPPY or something I do NOT like? These questions have been real in my heart. And yet, I know that whatever He gives His children is always for our good + for His glory. Why is it so hard for me to TRUST that completely? Is it lack of total surrender? "Lord, I am willing that THOU shouldest make me willing. TEACH me the way that You want me to walk. Let me abide so close to You that I know Your heart + Your will. Lord, You said in Your word that You have not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love + a SOUND mind. I don't have to fear - only rest in Your trustworthiness and great faithfulness. You are my sufficiency + my all in all. Teach me to live in the reality of Your sufficiency + help me to rest my heart in You. Help me to be Your hands + feet in the Philippines. Help me to speak words that You would speak. Fill my mouth with Your praise and a testimony of Your greatness + power."


A short video of singing "To God Be the Glory" at church in the Philippines:

Streets of Dumaguete, Negros, Philippines

No comments: