Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Oatmeal & Strawberries + Heart Lessons


I looked down at my steel cut oatmeal slathered in strawberries, brown sugar & walnuts and took another bite.

My friends chorused in unison, "She got good really fast!" I piped in, "I know, and here she started her photography business just 8 months before I did!" Swallowing my bite of warm breakfast & taking a sip of Chai Latte, I sighed and added, "My photography business is definitely not where she is. Sometimes I wish I had such a successful photography business, and enough income from photography alone to be able to afford a little place of my own to decorate so cozily. I wonder how she does it!"

One of my friends spoke up, "But that's not what God had for you."

Those words rang in my ears. And we went on to discuss another topic.

Those words continued to ring in my ears over the new few days.

"...But that's not what God had for you."


+++

Sunday morning, my Pastor spoke on Humility & Pride. I'm ashamed to admit, at the beginning of his message, I thought to myself, "Okay, I don't think I have a pride issue..."

WHAM.
Ouch.

I'm naturally more of a layed back, quiet person, so I shouldn't  have an issue with pride, right? WRONG. My Pastor continued preaching, "Timidity is not to be mistaken for humility." The Lord continued to prick my heart as I sat in those cushioned seats. "Leah, you are prideful to the core when you refuse to let people in your life for fear of getting hurt. That is self-promotion. By blocking people out, you are saying that you are worthy of good... when in reality, you are hell deserving, worthless piece of dust apart from Me. You deserve to be rejected, to be spat upon, to be left alone. And yet instead, I stepped in your place and took every single painful blow for YOU. I want YOU to be that same sacrifice for others. Let man do what he will, and pour yourself out for the good of others."

The truth of it is, I am a flower quickly fading, a breath of wind... I am worthless dust. I deserve nothing good.  And yet, He calls me His. The GOD who created the universe... the GOD who created the hosts of stars and calls them EACH by NAME, created ME with a specific ministry to fulfill and He loves me for who I am. So why do I get so defensive when people mistreat me, or my life doesn't look like their story of success or God doesn't give me what I want?

+++

The Lord reached down and whispered to my heart, "Ah, Leah, you know I didn't call you in April of 2008 to have a big wedding photography business & to have a thousand Facebook fans. I created you to help, to minister... to minister to the least of these. Your photography business/ministry WILL look like failure to others, but that's okay because your photography talents aren't for Your self promotion. Your camera is just a tool and a means to minister to the hearts of those around you. So give your talents back to ME, dear one, and watch me glorify HIS name."

When I look at Your heavens, the work of Your fingers... 

what is man that You are mindful of him, 

and the son of man that You care for him? 

Psalms 8:3,4 ESV


The actual song starts at 3:25. Listen to it. Your heart will be blessed!

1 comment:

Samantha R said...

Wow, that message was humbling to me too.
This quote is so true:
"Timidity is not to be mistaken for humility."
Sometimes it's us quiet ones that have the most pride issues... =/
We deserve nothing but He gives us everything- and He is enough!