Friday, May 18, 2012

Sovereign God. Supreme Lord of My Heart.

The week I cut back my time on the internet to seek the Lord's direction, I heard news that a fellow IPS photography graduate died after falling into a river (from leaning over to take a picture) and he drowned. Though I did not know him personally, I went to his blog and read his very last blog post that he typed out before he died unexpectedly. He said this,

"To surrender a precious dream is a fearful thing, but to pursue anything but the full measure of the glory of God’s love is a wasted life."  Joshua Eddy



As I read the words of this 18 year old young man, a chill ran down my spine. What will my last blog post say, if God should call me home to glory unexpected? Will my blog be all about my own selfish pursuits, or a blog about the marvelous God who owns my life and (should) reign supreme in my heart? Life is too short to spend it frivolously, heaping up treasure for myself, creating idols to worship  whether that be making money, spending too much time on Facebook or Twitter, or looking to human man to satisfy the deepest needs & longings of my heart. An idol can be anything that I place on the throne of my heart! And that, my dear friends, is sobering.

The Lord has tested me in the last week with so many things. Quite honestly, I'm going through a dry season in my Christian life, and that's hard. (Lord, is that at fault of my own?) I want to panic as I see my bank account going dry. I struggle with doubt & lack of trust as God says "no" to one thing  and I wonder what it IS that He DOES want me to do. I've gone through deep times of loneliness, as my dearest friend lives half way around the world now, and I haven't had a real conversation with her since last August ... and another close friend has chosen to take a different walk in life, thus our communication is sporadic and not like it used to be. As an introvert at heart, even though I love to be friendly with everyone, I have just a couple of friends who are especially close to me & I am extremely loyal to them. (Yes, you might say, a "kindred spirit.") To have those who are closest to you, go half way around the world or take a different road in life, is a difficult thing. Do I trust God, even in that? ... or do I run to my own man-made idols?

How quick I am to forget that He is my GOD, God El Roi, the God who SEE'S. He has a purpose in each tear that falls, in every blow to the crushing & broken heart. He knows it all. And it's in those weakest moments,  He wants to step in and show Himself strong as Sovereign God, the Supreme Lord in my life. If He is the Creator & Keeper of the billions of stars ... of the entire universe, can't I trust Him to take care of me?

1 comment:

Samantha R. said...

Keep seeking God wholeheartedly and He will direct your paths. I know He will :)
I know what it's like to be in a "dry" period spiritually but coming out on the other side is "sweeter" and remember that God will never abandon you.


THIS:
" Life is too short to spend it frivolously, heaping up treasure for myself, creating idols to worship ― whether that be making money, spending too much time on Facebook or Twitter, or looking to human man to satisfy the deepest needs & longings of my heart. An idol can be anything that I place on the throne of my heart! And that, my dear friends, is sobering."

Yes, very sobering. Thank you!