Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Saying Goodbye. Embracing Hope.

Journey to Idaho

I can still remember that chair.

The chair I knelt at, wept at, and cried to the Lord in my utter brokenness.

I wanted to cling to every possible hope
...but I knew it was time to say goodbye.

And I didn't want to.
Sometimes God asks us to say goodbye to our dreams.

Dreams that at one time, we were so convinced that they were God's will and plan.

The future seemed mapped out. All I had to do was wait for it to happen.

And then God asked me to say goodbye to it all.

My future fell apart into a million little bits.

My heart was left broken, shattered, fearful, and afraid to trust - ever again.

"Time, my child. In time, the wound shall heal," He said.

I protested, "Nothing could ever heal this wound. I shall never be the same again."

With a Father's heart, and with compassion on His face, He lifted me in His arms, and spoke,

"You are right, my child. You will never be the same again. But dear one,

I make ALL things NEW.

I heal the broken hearted and bind up their wounds. (Psalms 147:3)

I give deliverance to the captives,
I recover sight to the blind,
I heal them that are bruised. (Luke 4:18)

I didn't come for people who 'have it all together'

My very purpose in coming was to bring restoration & healing to those that have been betrayed.

I gives BEAUTY for ashes.

I restore that which has been taken.

Dear one, I am holding your heart together."


A year has passed since I finally came to the place where I was ready to let go and say goodbye.

When I came to the place where I was willing to let go and say goodbye, then began the incredible healing that only Jesus brings.

In a vacant room in Dallas, Texas, with my lap literally soaked in tears, I told the Lord I didn't know why. But I did know that I couldn't live — if living meant hurting as much as I was. It was in that moment that I surrendered to the Lord my heart, my hurt, my pain, and my fear. And because I gave it all to HIM,

He has indeed brought restoration to that which I thought could never be wholly restored.

But really, it's not so much about saying goodbye.
(though it's part of that).

It's about embracing hope, knowing that He must — absolutely must — have something more wonderful in store than that which He so lovingly took away.
"He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

"No good thing will he withold from them that walk uprightly." Psalms 84:11

"...I'll build an altar with the rubble that You've found me in, and every stone will sing of what You can redeem. Heal the wound, but leave a scar - a reminder of how merciful You are..."



Taylor said...

thank you for this post!! this is exactly what i needed to 'hear'! ive been strugglin so much...been somewhat discouraged...broken-hearted...and not knowing how to let go and give it ALL to God! This post blessed me! God bless you!

Samantha R. said...

God does all things well and with Him and time, there truly can be healing.

Abby said...

I'm with Taylor. Thank you for this, Leah. I've been going through a series of struggles lately, and sometimes it's so hard to trust in God's leading hand on my life...but in one noteworthy example, something I wanted and prayed for and didn't get - I recently got my answer to the question "why didn't it happen?" and it turns out that the Lord knows best and I would have been extremely discontent if it had happened.

I love faith-increasing moments like that. :)

Marci said...

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11 Why do we so quickly doubt this? Only to have God show us it's true for me, even in my hardest hour.